


I'll be ok

by Raawr23



Series: Keep Going... [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Relationships, Depressed Stiles, F/M, Family Feels, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Pack Bonding, Recovery, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Stiles Feels, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2017-12-24 16:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raawr23/pseuds/Raawr23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing his father, Stiles starts losing himself. He has nothing left. Struggling everyday and accepting that everything was his fault, that he is the reason. With the pack by his side they help him cope and move on but they find it difficult when Stiles fights them every step of the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is a continuation of my other story It's my fault. this is going to be a long going story of Stiles recovery. once i get passed the first few chapters it'll flow better.

_"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry."_

_"You promised me...."_

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"You kill everyone you love."_

_"You ruin everything."_

_The voice kept echoing around him. He needed to run...he had to run. But where would he go? He was all alone. Everything around him was consuming him. There was darkness only...he welcomed it...want it...he wanted it to take him too._

_"Stiles!"_

_No, he didn't want to go back._

_"Stiles!"_

_He closed his eyes, letting his body fall to the ground._

_"Stiles!"_

_He felt the darkness creeping in closer, wrapping around him. He let his eyes drift shut letting the light disappear and the darkness in._

_"STILES!"_

 

The boy awoke with a gasp, feeling his heart beat thudding loudly against his rib cage. He glanced up to see a pair of crimson eyes boring into his slowly seeping back to his original green.

Stiles gulped as he tried to breathe again. He was exhausted, his body was fighting him. He leaned into Derek, letting his head rest onto the man's collarbone.

"Another nightmare?" The man murmured and Stiles just nodded.

It had only been a few days since they buried his father. Only a few and he couldn't even sleep. He refused to let Mrs. McCall sedate him. Sure he'd sleep dreamlessly but he didn't want to rely on drugs.

Stiles pulled away from Derek, taking notice that the guy had basically pulled him into his lap to wake him from his night terror. Stiles glanced at the digital clock, it read 2:45. Stiles huffed unamused as he ran a hand through his long hair. He felt Derek shift on the bed. Stiles pulled his knees up to his chest as he looked at the man.

"Sorry I woke you up." Stiles mumbled hearing his hoarse voice made him flinch. "It's fine...I wasn't exactly asleep." He answered. Stiles nodded as he closed his eyes, bring his head down so his forehead touched his knees.

"Stiles..."

"Derek...can you just...can you lay with me?" Stiles asked into his knees. It sounded muffled but he knew the werewolf heard him.

The bed creaked as Derek moved closer to him. Stiles feels him pull and Stiles lets himself be moved. The moment he's in the warmth of the man Stiles breaks. He lets the tears streak down his face.

Derek says nothing, just holding him while Stiles cries himself to sleep again. He had been doing that every night. Derek didn't mind though...Stiles crying made him human...he was letting his emotions out which was good.

....

Stiles didn't know when he fell asleep but he did. He groaned as he saw the sunlight in the room. He should've closed the blinds last night. He turned his head to see that he was in fact alone in bed. Derek must've left once he saw that he wouldn't be waking up during the night.

Stiles laid in the bed staring out the window. It still had the plastic taped over the hole Stiles had made. There was some guilt budding around him but he didn't seem to be able to bring himself to care. He just felt numb.

Slowly, almost mechanically he got up and did his daily routine. Today was just another day...another day without his father. Another day of just feeling alone. Another day of just wanting the pain to leave him or consume him. Either one...he didn't care.

He hadn't talked to anyone in days. Scott came and went occasionally...but he didn't stay long. Stiles wasn't much company. Boyd and Isaac hadn't come since the funeral along with Lydia, Allison and Danny. Stiles figured they didn't want to deal with a broke kid. Cora would visit more often but she didn't talk much...if anything she was just a presence. The only person who talked to him was Derek, but even that was limited to one word answers or small short questions.

Stiles glanced around the room he had been occupying for almost two weeks now. The dressers now had some of his clothing inside. There were some books but that was it. Stiles vaguely remembered he destroyed his laptop. He doubted if that could be salvaged, but he didn't care. Stiles wore black and only black he couldn't bring himself to wear any color.

All Stiles wanted to do was sleep...just sleep...maybe that would make it all go away. But he couldn't...his time was running out. Eventually he'd return to school and he'd have to deal with the whispers, the gossip, the inevitable fact that he was utterly alone in the world.

He slowly descended down the stairs when he heard whispers coming from the kitchen. He recognized one was Mrs. McCall but the other...the other was unfamiliar. Cautiously he walked over toward the threshold seeing Scott's mom angrily shaking her head at the other woman. Stiles frowned, who was this woman?

Mrs. McCall stepped back, eyes widening when she saw Stiles.

"Stiles...you're up." She breathed and the boy just nodded.

The other woman stood straighter and slowly turned to face him. Stiles felt his stomach drop once he saw the woman's face.

"Hello Stiles. It's been a long time." She gave him a sweet smile but it didn't touch her eyes.

Stiles closed his eyes as he turned out of the kitchen.

She was here, which meant he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Melissa McCall knew that she was taking a responsibility many would not want. No one really wanted to deal with a teenager going through a difficult time in their life but she couldn't turn away. This was Stiles, the boy she saw grow up, the boy she grew to care for.

Stiles was like another son to her, she knew that the boy needed people around him, people who he could consider family. It was difficult to say the least. She'd be lying if she said it was easy.

Stiles barely spoke and if he did it was direct answers, short phrases or just nods and shrugs. The talkative boy no longer existed and that worried her. She didn't expect him to be his normal self but she had hoped there would be some progress but there was none.

She relied on Scott and Isaac when it came to leaving the boy during the afternoons. At night she relied on Derek. She was grateful for him being around; he seemed to understand exactly what Stiles was going through. He probably went through it himself after the fire.

It had only been two weeks since Stiles father died, only a few days since they buried him. It had only been a few days but it already felt like months. Melissa would have to get in touch with the school and see if it was possible to extend his absence but he'd run the risk of repeating his junior year.

A part of her wanted to keep him here in order for him to move on but she couldn't risk his education, whether he thought of it or not. How did she end up raising three teenage boys? How was she stuck as the only girl in this? It didn't matter she loved all three boys equally.

The doorbell rang and her attention went to upstairs. Stiles was still resting and from what Derek told her he barely slept last night so she didn't want anyone disturbing him. She quickly went toward the front door. Scott was at school with Isaac and Derek wouldn't be by until later with Cora and the rest trickled in every so often to check up on the boy. That left Peter but he hardly step foot there.

She opened the door and felt her heart drop.

"Melissa McCall?" The woman asked and Melissa nodded, "hello I'm..."

"You're Stiles Aunt, Katarzyna." Melissa answered and the woman grinned.

"Please call me Kat."

Melissa motioned for her to come in. No one had heard if the woman was going to come down and take custody of Stiles. Child services probably called her down in respects to the sheriff but Melissa wasn't prepared, none of them were.

"Where is my dear nephew?" She asked as Melissa guided her to the kitchen.

"Upstairs...asleep he had a terrible night."

"Ah...shouldn't he be at school?"

"The school gave him a mourning period...he'll return next week unless they give him an extension." Melissa answered as they both sat at the kitchen table.

"Hmmm...I'm sure he'll be fine once we get him settled."

"Settled?" Melissa asked and the woman nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure he can transfer into school once we explained the circumstances but we should be out of this town by Friday." She casually stated as she glanced around the room.

"You're moving him?" Melissa asked in shock and the woman gave her a blank look.

"Yes...my husband and I have a life in Connecticut. This is just a mild disruption and he'll be perfectly fine with us. You didn't expect us to live here in this town."

"But Stiles has his friends here..."

"I'm his family."

"Family that hasn't spoken to him and his father in years." The woman glared at Melissa but she kept going, "this is just an inconvenience to you and your husband, you don't want Stiles to live with you if you even cared you would've been here for your own brother's funeral."

"I told John I'd never step foot in this good forsaken town...he was stupid to let Claudia force his stay. I got out like he should have and maybe he'd still be alive. Yes it's an inconvenience but I'm here aren't I?"

"You're going take him away from everything he knows. Do you not understand that he's emotionally not stable? Psychologically he's not stable..."

"Kat scoffed, "which is why I'll pay for his therapy. Look I'm his aunt and I'm doing what's best." She stood up causing Melissa to do the same.

"Best for you maybe...not for Stiles." Melissa hissed back causing the woman to narrow her eyes.

"You are nothing to the boy...you are not his mother so stay out of it. I'm his only living family and he's coming with me." Melissa huffed and opened her mouth to say something but stopped when she noticed another presence.

Stiles stood at the entry with a confused look on his face. All her rage she felt for the woman vanished as she saw him.

"Stiles...you're up." She couldn't help breathe...they had probably woke him up.

Kat took this declaration to face the teen. Melissa noticed how quickly Stiles recognized the woman even if they hadn't seen each other in years. She saw as Stiles face fell, almost resignation. He knew what the woman being here meant.

"Hello Stiles, it's been a long time." Stiles didn't answer he just walked away.

Melissa followed the boy with the woman behind.

 

Stiles ran up the stairs feeling his chest constrict as he tried to breathe. His aunt was here, which meant he was leaving. They were taking him away. He thought since she didn't show up for the—he couldn't even think it—then he'd stay with the pack. But he was wrong...he was always wrong.

He ran inside the room and ran into the bathroom slamming the door shut. He placed himself up against the door blocking anyone from entering. No one wanted him, that's why they were shipping him away to Connecticut. Mrs. McCall was probably sick of him and decided to send him away.

A small whimper left him as he dropped his head to his knees. He could feel the air leave him faster; it was harder to breathe air back. His chest ached as his body started shaking, he couldn't breathe...he couldn't breathe.

He heard banging and thuds on the door but that seemed so far away. Then he couldn't hear it at all, it was quiet he could only hear his fast beating heart. Stiles opened his eyes and saw black spots around...he moved forward, trying to reach something...anything to help him stand up but he couldn't reach. He let his body fall and let the darkness take him.

 

Melissa ran into the room as Stiles slammed the door shut. She quickly tried to open the door but it was locked. She jiggled the handle and knocked on the door.

"Stiles...open." Nothing, "sweetie...please open the door. We just want to talk." Again nothing.

Kat huffed in annoyance as she walked up to the door and pounded, "open the door Stiles!" She ordered.

Melissa glared at the woman; she had no idea how to handle the boy. How could she even think of taking him away from his family? Melissa was brought back once she heard the pounding again.

"Stop...that's not going to help."

"Then do something!" The woman shouted.

Melissa pressed her ear up against the door and she could hear Stiles gasping for air. She started knocking faster.

"Stiles open up. Please open up." She begged. He was having a panic attack and he was alone in the bathroom.

"Knock the door down." Kat ordered and Melissa glared.

"And how am I suppose to do that?" She demanded.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Both women turned to see the man leaning up against the doorway with a smirk.

Melissa didn't have time for this, "he's having a panic attack Peter!" She all but shrieked causing the man to move.

Both women pushed aside as he slammed his shoulder up against the door three times before it opened. Melissa knew he could've just snapped the handle off but how would they have explained it to Kat.

Melissa ran inside the bathroom to see the boy on the floor.

"Peter, help me turn him!"

Peter quickly went over to help move Stiles to lay on his back. Melissa quickly found his pulse and checked. He was breathing shallowly but he was breathing. She looked up at Peter.

"Bring him into the room..."

"Shouldn't we call 911?" Kat asked and Peter rolled his eyes.

"Melissa is a trained nurse we'll be fine." Peter gently placed Stiles on the floor.

"Keep his head straight, make sure his pulse is steady and get his legs elevated." Melissa ordered as went to a dresser to grab a flash light. She moved past Kat as she settled down beside Stiles. She checked his eyes to see if he had hit his head hard when he blacked out but didn't seemed concussed which was good.

"I think he just had a panic attack, no concussion so he should be fine...well as fine as he can be." She murmured to Peter as he set the pillows underneath Stiles feet.

"So now I have to be concerned on whether he'll drop at any given moment?" Kat demanded and Peter rolled his eyes once again.

"Listen, I don't know who you are but its best you left. Stiles is in no shape to deal with visitors so just leave."

"I'm his aunt and I don't even know who you are so don't sit there and try and tell me what to do." She spat back.

"As his aunt you should know when to leave and give the boy space." He threw back.

Melissa shook her head; this was neither the time nor place.

"Stop it the both of you!" Both looked at the curly haired woman, "our priority is Stiles! Kat go, I'll contact you when Stiles is ready to see you..."

"We are leaving Friday. That doesn't change." With that said the woman left the room and presumably the house.

Melissa sighed as she kept checking on Stiles. She felt Peter shift and her attention went to him.

"Derek...he asked me to check up...he was busy so..." He feebly answered the unasked question.

"Right...glad you did...werewolf strength helped."

They both sat silently as they waited for Stiles to wake up.

The new Stilinski present was going to be more trouble than they had hoped.

 

School wasn't the same anymore. Scott hated leaving Stiles at home alone but his mom would flip if he started ditching classes again. Sure he spent time with Stiles in the boy’s room but it was awkward…quiet…strange. Scott wanted his best friend back and he knew that it wasn’t possible right now. Scott admitted that he had no idea how to approach Stiles anymore, he was different now, he was quiet, Scott wasn’t used to him being quiet.

Scott understood that he couldn’t expect for Stiles to magically be okay, but he wished he had an ability to make him better. He hated how broken his best friend was and he couldn’t do anything about it. Scott relied on Derek’s example, he understood what was needed and he didn’t mind showing Scott what to do when he wasn’t around. Cora was a great help as well but he was not comfortable with the cuddles those two shared.

Sitting in the cafeteria with the others was uncomfortable. Everyone asked both he and Isaac how Stiles was doing and they gave them the same answer, no change. After that they would stay quiet. Lydia and Danny had discussed the idea of taking the guy out and get fresh air and try talking to him but they were afraid he’d lash out. Allison was frightened to go back, she didn’t want to say something and trigger him again.

Scott didn’t hold that against Stiles and neither did Allison, she knew that she had made the mistake in comparing her situation to his. Those were two different things and she couldn’t expect that her experience was the same as his. Boyd was sticking to his plan on letting Stiles come to them, to not push the guy while he was still mourning. Scott wasn’t sure why the guy sounded confident that Stiles would seek them out eventually.

Scott felt Allison grip his hand and give him a reassuring squeeze. He needed to stay strong and be Stiles brother, he could do that. Isaac nudged Scott with his arm and motioned to Cora.

“What’s going on?” Scott asked the girl.

She had a frown as she had her phone out. She started chewing on her lip as she replied back to the message.

“It’s Peter. He said that Stiles had a panic attack and blacked out in the bathroom.” She informed the group.

Everyone gasped and Scott jumped out of his seat ready to leave home.

“His Aunt’s here.” She added and everyone froze.

Stiles’ aunt was here in Beacon Hills which meant she had come to take him back with her. She was going to take away their friend, their pack mate. Scott slowly sat down, staring at the girl in disbelief.

“His Aunt?” Lydia asked and Cora nodded. “Why is she here though? She didn’t seem to care about him when his dad died. She didn’t even bother showing up to the funeral. She can’t take him away.”

“Lydia, that woman has custody over Stiles; she can take him whenever she wants.” Danny pointed out and the girl huffed.

“Over my dead body.” She retorted, fuming at the fact that this woman had appeared into their lives.

“What are you doing Cor?” Isaac asked as the girl continued texting.

She sighed, “Texting Derek…he has to know what’s going on.” Everyone nodded.

Scott didn’t know what to do he was losing his best friend…Stiles was going through a lot and now knowing that this woman was going to take him away from him. Scott didn’t want to lose his brother; he had to find a way to stop the move. Maybe he could seek help in order to prove to a judge that Stiles was able to stay with them.

All that mattered was that they all stayed together. How to make it happen was the true question.

 

Derek slowed to a jog as he entered the clearing of his old home. He didn’t know how he ended up being Stiles…was he his care giver? No, if anything he was just someone who was there. Deep down Derek felt that Stiles should hate him for everything. He was waiting for Stiles to come back and blame Derek for everything, and Derek would take it. He deserved it.

Derek had left the McCall residence early in the morning, once Melissa had finished her shift at the hospital. He was trying to limit his stay with Stiles; putting distance meant that when Stiles snapped back the blow he’d deliver would lessen.

Derek walked up to the charred porch and sighed. Being around Stiles reminded him of when he was younger, carrying the guilt of the fire. He still carried it but he somewhat understood it wasn’t his fault but a part of him knew it was. The guilt was agonizing, it was a constant reminder of his mistakes and he knew he couldn’t redeem himself. That guilt was the same guilt Stiles was carrying and it was Derek’s mission to help the boy.

Derek cared a lot about Stiles, but he didn’t want to get attached and he didn’t want Stiles to be dependent on him either. He was stuck and he didn’t know what to do anymore.

He felt his phone vibrate and frowned. He knew Melissa would text or call him if he was needed but today was her day off, if anything he’d be over at night to watch over Stiles. He pulled out the phone and saw Cora’s name. He quickly opened the message and groaned.

He quickly turned back, running down the trail to his car. Stiles had a panic attack, his aunt was here now. Stiles was leaving, he was being taken away and it bother Derek a lot more than he thought it would. He knew he needed to be there once Stile woke up and to help. He’d talk to Melissa to see what they were going to do with the woman.

Derek knew that they had their job cut out for them; they had to convince this woman that they were what Stiles needed. The boy had to stay.

The question was would she listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made an update, school didn't kick my ass after all. Leave comments and let me know what you think. Next update is unknown at the moment.  
> Mistakes are all mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter should have been posted since last month but school really kicked my ass along with real life too...  
> So anywho here's the chapter I'm currently working on chapter 5 and editing 4 so it should be out in the coming weeks.

Derek reached the McCall house in record time, he felt a little guilty for all the traffic violations but then didn't care since the new sheriff was an ass. The door was unlocked as he entered. Normally he would have told Melissa how dangerous it was but for once there was no threat and two she knew he'd be on his way.

"Upstairs." Derek turned to see Peter step out of the kitchen doorway. 

"How is he?" He asked as he walked up to the steps but stopped to listen.

"Out...has been for over ten minutes. My guess Cora called and you drove like a manic to get here. Honestly it's like your asking for the new sheriff to have more leverage on you." Peter rolled his eyes and Derek growled.

He walked up the stairs and straight into Stiles room. There he saw the teen was on the floor with Mrs. McCall sitting beside his head letting her hand run through his hair.

"Hello Derek." She murmured as he approached her.

"Shouldn't we move him?" 

"No...we can't move him until he wakes up we don't know if he hurt himself it's best we left him here." 

Derek moved to sit on the ground. He saw Stiles' chest rise up and down as he stayed unconscious. Derek knew the boy was prone to panic attacks but he hadn't realized the severity of them if he blacked out. This just piled on to the man's guilt.

"She said that she'd be back and they would leave this Friday." Mrs. McCall informed him.

Derek looked at her in shock. Cora hadn't mentioned that part, maybe she didn't know it but that was huge. Stiles couldn't leave them, he needed to stay, they needed him to stay. 

"That's why he panicked?" Derek asked and the woman nodded.

"We were arguing when he came down. He just saw her and just knew what her being here meant. If Peter hadn't shown up I don't know how I would've gotten the door down." 

"Then it was a good thing I came to check on the boy."

Derek lifted his head to look at the older man lean up against the doorway. Derek didn't know why his uncle had suddenly chosen to visit but he was grateful that he was there to help.

"Did she say where she was staying?" Derek asked as he returned his gaze to the unconscious boy.

"No, just that she would come back. Derek, she's going to take him away."

"No she's not."

"Yes she is. You may be an alpha but that authority won't help you now dear nephew." Derek glared at his uncle. "The woman is blood relation which means she has custody whether we like it or not. The sheriff had no will, he left no one to be the boy's guardian. The state is doing exactly what they are suppose to. All we can do is convince her that Stiles will be better here than in Connecticut."

"That's easier said than done, Kat hates Beacon Hills. She will never agree to staying or leaving Stiles here." Mrs. McCall added in a exasperated voice.

"She doesn't care about him...we can convince her." Derek insisted.

"Try and fail. Derek this woman doesn't seem to care about Stiles interest. She has one option and one option only. There is no reasoning with her." Mrs. McCall rebuttaled back causing Derek to deflate.

Derek had to make a plan, he had to convince this woman that Stiles needed to be here, that moving him wasn't the right choice. If Stiles left the pack wouldn't be the same, they needed the boy. He needed the boy.

Wordlessly, Derek stood up and left Mrs. McCall and Stiles. He motioned Peter to follow as he went out of the room. He could hear Peter's footsteps behind him. Derek didn't stop until he was near the front door. 

"You're planning something." Peter pointed out.

"I'm going to go and find a way..."

"Derek, you know that there's no way to convince a woman who is hell-bent on leaving this town and dragging the boy with her too."

"So what am I suppose to do? Let her?" Derek asked feeling his anger rise.

The older wolf scoffed as he gave Derek a small smirk, "of course not...but this isn't a battle Derek, you can't kill the woman just to keep Stiles here, as much as I'd like to." 

Derek rolled his eyes as he continued out. He could hear Peter shouting something at him but he paid his uncle no attention instead he chose to leave and think of a plan to convince the woman Stiles needed to stay.

 

 

"Stiles?" He heard a soft voice whisper as he slowly woke.

His head was pounding, his chest ached and it hurt to breathe. He slowly opened his eyes to see the curly haired woman staring back him with a small smile. Her eyes was watery as she let out a shaky breath.

"You scared me so bad Stiles..." She whispered as she ran her hand through his hair. "How do you feel? Does something hurt?" She asked.

"N-no...just my head." He croaked out as he made a movement to sit up.

"Peter." Mrs. McCall called out and almost instantly the man was in the room.

Both Peter and Mrs. McCall helped Stiles up and moved him to the bed. Slowly everything came back to him. His aunt was here which meant he was gone. There was nothing in Beacon Hills to even keep him there, his dad...his dad was gone and so was his mom. What else was left? 

"Stiles? You okay?" Mrs. McCall asked and all Stiles could do was nod.

Stiles noticed how Peter gave him a look but didn't say anything to the woman. Stiles looked away toward the window and let his mind and body shut down. He didn't want to cry anymore, he didn't want to think about it anymore. He just wanted to be with them more than anything now...being with them was better than his future. 

This was hell and he really wished Derek was there to help him.

 

The day dragged out longer than expected, well it was a normal day but all Scott wanted to do was go home and be with his best friend. He would handcuff himself with Stiles if necessary in order to keep the boy here. Stiles' aunt be damned, but Stiles would stay with his real family. As the final bell rang, Scott shot out of the classroom but was stopped almost immediately.

"Mr. McCall." He heard the stern voice.

Slowly Scott turned to face Ms. Blake. Scott hadn't heard from the woman since Cora had told them all that Derek had broken up with her. Then again they hadn't had pack meetings or anything that wasn't involved at his house or around Stiles. 

She gave him a small smile and slowly Scott walked over to her. He felt a little irritated being stuck there when all he wanted to do was go home and be with his friend.

"Yeah Ms. Blake?" He didn't hide the irritation in his voice but the woman didn't seem to care.

"I wanted to ask how Stiles was doing."

"He's...fine...hasn't changed much since..." He ended that with a shrug. There was no way he could say Stiles was good, he was far from good.

"I see...has he gone to therapy yet? I know some of the teachers were discussing the idea of requiring it...but..."

"Mom's suggested it too but...it'll be up to Stiles if he goes."

Neither said anything after that. The woman gave him a small smile and Scott took it as his cue to leave. Scott didn't know the whole story on why Derek and she broke up but he didn't seem to care since it had nothing to do with Stiles and that was his main concern. 

Scott ran out and to his motorcycle, he didn't bother seeing where the others were, he's was very sure that they would all be at his house at one point. He didn't bother looking behind to see whether it was clear for him to drive out, he just took off. If he got hurt werewolf healing would kick in. 

As fast as he left, he had arrived at home. Normally Scott would race up to his room and talk to Stiles but now he went to find his mom. He listened closely to hear two heartbeats, one upstairs and one in the kitchen. 

Scott walked toward the kitchen to see his mom sitting on the bar stool looking pensively into her mug. Scott cleared his throat causing her to startle.

"Sweetheart, I didn't know you got home." She got up to dump the contants of her drink into the sink.

"Yeah...just got home...Cora said..."

"Right, Peter must've told her."

"How is he?" He finally asked, causing the woman to sigh. 

"He's okay...he didn't hurt himself but...it might be time we talk about seeking professional help. There's only so much I can do." 

"But Stiles won't...."

"He won't talk  I know. But in order for him to recover he needs to understand this wasn't his fault and he couldn't have predicted the results."

Scott understood, or at least he tried to understand what his mom was saying but he knew Stiles. No matter what others would tell him, he would always blame himself and carry the guilt. In some ways stiles was similar to Derek, whether the two would admit it or not.

"If he does...who would he talk to? Mom the world can't know about us."

"I know but maybe...maybe your boss? I don't know Scott, right now I have to find a way to keep Kat from taking him."

"What will we do if they tell us she gets to take him?" Scott was scared to hear the answer but he knew it.

"We let them honey. I know you two are close but you might have to consider that possibility as much as I hate to admit."

Scott nodded and went over to hug his mom. Through this entire ordeal Scott realized how simple it would be to lose his mom like Stiles had lost both his parents. Sure he still had his dad but he was nonexistent. 

Scott slowly left and climbed the stairs to see his best friend—his brother—up in his room. He tentatively knocked but heard no acknowledgement which was normal for Stiles. 

Said boy was curled up on the bed staring out into nothing. Scott walked over to sit on the floor beside the bed where Stiles was facing. Stiles' eyes flickered to see him but then went back to staring into nothing. Scott sighed, he hated feeling this helpless, unable to wake Stiles up from this cloud of depression. Scott hadn't seen him like this since his mom died but he was able to pull through for his dad. But now, Stiles had no one, who would he pull through for?

Scott started talking about school, hoping this would be enough for Stiles to see there was more out there. At least he hoped it was enough.

 

All he wanted to do was sleep, just sleep and never wake up. Stiles knew that this wasn't a normal thought but it's how he felt. Eventually he'd wake up and he'd be living his nightmare. He just wanted it all to stop. He didn't want to leave, not with his aunt Kat, he wanted to stay with them. He didn't want to leave them. 

Stiles could hear the voices outside of his door, muffled but he caught on. Derek wasn't coming over. The voice in Stiles head kept sneering at him how he had driven the alpha away too. 

Maybe it was better that Derek would stay away...that they all should stay away. He was cursed, the people he loved all died...maybe they should stay away so they wouldn't die. Maybe it'd be easier if he died. 

After all who would miss him?

He had no one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story's going to be slow in recovery, I don't want to rush through Stiles recovery so I'm taking my time I'm hoping to update regularly over the winter break but I won't make promises.  
> I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and sorry I've been slow on updates.  
> Comments are always welcomed and mistakes made are all mine so sorry. Happy reading!

**Author's Note:**

> comments are appreciated. I won't be updating frequently due to school but I will post update warnings on my tumblr for those who want to follow. 
> 
> (Link is on chapter 4 of its my fault)


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